Vice President and car seat conspiracy theorist JD Vance is in Italy right now to watch the Winter Olympics in all their penis-aerodnamics glory. Maybe all those booing fans at the opening ceremonies have him rattled, though, because Vance has reportedly been refusing to travel through the tight streets of Milan without his emotional support motorcade: A line of at least 45 vehicles dedicated to his safety and comfort. Italy's known for its broad, open streets and minimal traffic, right?
Residents and visitors in Milan have captured Vance's motorcade on video, and it's a truly staggering assembly of vehicles. So many, in fact, that it's made Olympic athletes — y'know, the people who really need to be in attendance — nearly miss their own events. The highest-quality recording circulating around has a gap in the middle, making it impossible to tell which vehicles pass in the interim, but the footage shows at least 45 different vehicles.
Those vehicles are:
The vehicles appear to be a mix of Italian and American, and that's not just in their country of manufacture. Vance's team has denied the rumor that it carried an entire plane of food to Italy, but it notably didn't deny bringing vehicles for the motorcade — those Suburbans, adorned with the red and blue lights of American police rather than the blue and white of European cops, are likely vehicles Vance brought from home.
That makes Vance's motorcade all the more absurd, as it appears to be a combination of two separate motorcades both designed to ensure the safety of a traveling VIP. Vance could likely have simply taken an Italian vehicle from his hotel to the Olympic events he's attending, but he decided he needed his big cozy American SUVs too. Like a child with a lucky blanket, it seems Vance is unwilling to give up that comfort of home when he travels.
