Welcome back to Reputation Management! Here we reveal the underbelly of ordinary automotive retailers—places like car dealers and service shops—with fictional service tales inspired by real customer reviews. How do we make these stories seem like they could really happen? Because of my years of experience with a Fortune 500 automotive retailer as a—you guessed it—reputation manager. —Sajeev
I’ve heard the phrase “blood is thicker than water” several times from family members, often with an intensity that means trouble is coming my way. It sends a chill down my spine because it’s akin to slamming a door shut in someone’s face.
Like many folks who work in retail, I don’t enjoy helping family members search for a new vehicle. The scenario possesses all the financial and emotional pitfalls of providing free advice to a stranger, but it’s magnified through the lens of, well, blood being thicker than water.
You’ve heard the stories. Got bad credit? Blame that cousin of yours for suckering you into co-signing a loan for a Harley-Davidson. Or whatever family drama that might come your way, because you will get more than your fill of nonsense like this. It was only a matter of time before this Reputation Manager was obligated to hear out these tales as both a family member and a car dealership employee.
***
Anita was a pleasant enough relative, and she could throw a party like nobody’s business. She was too saccharine in her sugary-sweet praises of everyone, so I gave her a wide berth to ensure she had little reason to talk to me. I got the feeling she liked it that way, as everyone knows I work in the car business. For many folks in my family, this isn’t a “noble trade” by any means, especially among cousins who are doctors and lawyers.
But then came the day when Anita needed a new Lexus SUV. My phone rang, rang again, and then an aggressively-toned text message hit my inbox. Apparently, Anita “needed to buy a Lexus urgently” and she would like it if I could drop every CarCountry customer concern on my plate to assist her.
Which I did, but not because blood is thicker than water. I smelled a reason to visit my Lexus dealership family, earn a modest “bird-dog” commission, all while connecting with a mysterious relative on “my” home turf. We sealed the deal on a Certified Pre-Owned Lexus GX 460 Luxury with only 4,000 miles. “Nobody needs to know you bought it used,” I said as I winked and patted her Birkin bag…suggesting she should treat herself to another one to celebrate this auspicious occasion.
“Sajeev, you are too good to me! How are you not married yet? I must talk to your mother again.”
Her trademark syrupy sweetness surfaced yet again, but there was a grain of truth in Anita’s words of praise. It’s hard to get a discount on a CPO Lexus in one of the hottest markets in the nation, but being a CarCountry employee has its perks. Or perhaps I once again overestimated my abilities, because automotive retail always brings out the worst in people. Just give it a couple of years, I say.
I was apprised of this situation days before the review hit my inbox. It stung harder than it should, because I tried to get Anita to buy the wheel-and-tire protection package before she left the dealership. She wasn’t interested in any extra charges, and the need to consider the future disappears once the customer leaves the dealership. But this protection plan is needed when buying a premium vehicle, not just a BMW with rubber band tires and an “M” logo affixed to its posterior.
“Because she’s family, I will gladly sell the new tire and wheel repair at my cost, and mount/balance it for free. But you know tires just don’t pop off the wheel like that. Sorry Sajeev, I cannot make your situation any easier!”
That was Lisa, the general manager of the Lexus dealership. In the span of 25 years, she clawed her way up this male-dominated industry to run one of the most profitable dealerships in the state. I admired her for it, and for how well she embodied the Lexus Covenant.
Perhaps I was relieved to tell Anita that we were declining her request for a free repair. I borrowed an unused conference room for our call, ensuring I won’t bother my co-workers in CarCountry’s Digital Marketing department. Try as I may to placate an unreasonable request, I still got the worst of her delusional wrath. It was the expletive-laden stuff that everyone who works retail must one day encounter, but then she said the words that made my skin crawl:
“Blood is thicker than water. And don’t you forget it.”
Luckily, this middle-aged Reputation Manager is nobody’s fool. I recorded the entire conversation in the conference room. (Texas allows one-party consent for recordings, but its intended audience will ensure Anita dare not take me to court.) After a walk around the parking garage to calm my nerves, I knew I could not proceed with this by myself. It was time to see if blood sustained life better than water.
After playing five seconds of the recording to a family member, they convinced me to play it for our family’s elder statesman. That was my great-uncle, a wise mentor we all so desire in our lives, and he knew a thing or two about customer service. Pumping gas as a foreign student who came to America in 1966 taught him a lesson in humility. He expects all his “children” to be kind to retail workers, and he applauded me for making a legitimate career out of Reputation Management.
“Fikar mat karo, beta. Your auntie will be a changed woman the next time she speaks to you. That is a promise from your chacha, okay?”
Moments later, Anita called to walk back her previous words. Her self-aggrandizing eventually turned into a legitimate apology, suggesting that blood being thicker than water is a great thing indeed. Now I had even more reason to respect my great-uncle. Nobody’s perfect, but the kid who went from pumping gas in Palouse to having a placard at Athabasca University was one helluva good man.
This review of a Lexus dealership is also a tale of redemption, elevating the Reputation Manager as something better than the sketchy car dealership stereotypes suggest. The retailing DNA of our family’s elder statesman flowed in my veins, and everyone knew it. Going forward, I hung my head high in a room full of doctors and lawyers.
The Reputation Manager will return…
Sadly you can’t always have an uncle intercept a wayward customer.
We are lucky at work to have an owner that will let us do a number of thing to help someone.
Discounts etc to help on customers self inflicted issues. The hard part is offering these to the foul mouthed idiots.
Word to the wise be persistent but kind and you will cone out better in the long run.
Sajeev
I have read so much of your work in the past 5+ years here, in all the styles/formats that entails. You’re a gifted writer and I truly enjoy that you apply it to an automotive focus.
Family can be embarrassing, you handled this with grace. Wisdom is knowing when to call for help.
Yours should be proud of what you do. Thank you for it.
