by Stephen Rivers
- Suspect claimed X-Men teleported him into a stolen BMW before crash.
- Bodycam captured him thanking deputies for saving him from aliens.
- Driver was charged after hospital visit for minor crash injuries.
Leaving one’s keys in their own car is never a good idea. That’s especially true if the car in question is desirable, say… like a BMW convertible. It’s an even worse idea to do so out in public.
One man just found that out the hard way, and maybe the worst part is that he left the keys plainly visible in the cupholder. Don’t worry, though, the theft only occurred because mutants and aliens teleported the alleged thief into the car.
According to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office, 36-year-old Calvin Johnson was arrested Monday afternoon after taking the unlocked BMW from Bicentennial Park in Ormond Beach.
The owner had stepped away to walk his dog. Minutes later, the car was totaled after the suspect reportedly pushed it to 130 mph (209 km/h) on a nearby highway before launching it into roadside trees and brush.
Read: Stolen Car Jumps Partially Open Seattle Bridge in Wild Police Chase
Bodycam footage shows deputies arriving to find the crashed BMW mangled across the shoulder, smoke drifting from its nose as bystanders scramble to extinguish small fires in the cabin and surrounding shrubs.
Johnson, bloodied and clearly disoriented, repeatedly insisted he wasn’t a car thief. Instead, he claimed he had been transported into the BMW on orders from X-Men.
“I don’t know how I get in the car… I teleported or something,” Johnson told a deputy while being cuffed. He added that the “X-Men” instructed him to take the vehicle and that officers had “saved” him from aliens inside his head.
A witness told police the man’s seat belt likely kept the bizarre misadventure from ending much worse. “I had to cut him out of his seat,” they said.
Police reminded the public to keep their cars locked, even in beautiful public spaces. Officers transported Johnson to the local hospital for treatment of his wounds before charging him with grand theft of a motor vehicle and driving with a suspended license.
Once he’s cleared medically, he’ll go to the Volusia County Branch Jail… unless the aliens come back for him. In that case, all bets are off.
