What's the deal with so many people ordering vanity plates? We see them all the time and often find ourselves riding behind someone who's identified themselves with names like "PUG MOM 2" or "OB1KNOB." Maybe they want to make sure the cop who pulls them over remembers them next time. On the other hand, a personalized plate is easier to memorize. We wouldn't have to run out to the driveway every time we have to fill out a form that asks for our license plate number.
But vanity plates can get you in trouble. One security researcher found this out when he ordered a plate that read, "NULL" — also the word the computer system entered for a ticket whenever a cop left the license plate field blank. Similar results have happened to drivers who opted for "NO PLATE," "NOTAG," or "VOID." They ended up receiving thousands of dollars in tickets for things they didn't do. The same thing happened to a woman on Long Island and one in California who ordered vanity plates with the same wording as fake novelty plates sold online.
And there are rules about what your plate can say. Texas revoked one man's vanity plate because its text looked like an obscenity when turned upside down. A Canadian man thought his "ASIMIL8" plate showed his love for "Star Trek," only to have it revoked for racial insensitivity. States including Arizona, Colorado, New Jersey, New York and California have rejected plate orders for "BIGFART," "DAPOOP," "GOT2PEE," "PEEPEE," "POOOOP" (we're sensing a theme), "EATPOO" (yeah, definitely a theme), "FATBUTT," and "WHIPME," and those were the clean ones. These people are allowed to operate motor vehicles, by the way.
Some people are too smart for their own good. Joseph Tartaro has described himself as an "offensive security consultant," which is another word for a professional hacker. Clients hire his employer to find security flaws in their computer systems. But in 2016, Tartaro thought he had found a way to hack the DMV.
The word "null" is used by a lot of programming languages to signify when something is blank or doesn't exist. Tartaro thought it would be fun to order a California vanity plate that said simply, "NULL." At the very least, it would be cool and programming-related. But could this be a way of avoiding tickets altogether? Maybe if a cop entered "NULL" as his plate number when writing out a ticket, the computer would think there was no plate and not issue a citation.
Pretty clever, right? Yeah, no. In 2018, Tartaro paid $35 for a parking ticket. From that point on, the system had a name and address to associate with "NULL." Tartaro soon began receiving tickets from all over California, including towns he had never been to. He estimated that the combined fines totaled around $10,000.
Tartaro could have just changed his plate, but he reasoned that wouldn't fix the system problem. So instead, he went through the hassle of making hundreds of phone calls and even a personal visit to the sheriff's office to clear things up. The DMV apparently issued a fix at some point, because he stopped receiving tickets. Tartaro theorizes that maybe the fix was just blocking the system from issuing any tickets when a license plate field says, "NULL." In which case, perhaps his plan worked, after all.
The Texas Department of Motor Vehicles has rules against vanity license plates that are offensive or inappropriate. That didn't stop Safeer Hassan, of Houston, from trying to sneak a naughty word onto the license plate for his Lamborghini. In a move that would make Beavis and Butthead proud, Hassan ordered a plate that said, "370H55V." What's so offensive about that, you ask? Nothing, unless you look at it upside down. Go ahead, flip your monitor upside down. We know you want to. We'll wait.
Did you see it? Well, the folks at the Texas DMV didn't, and they sent him the plate. In fact, Hassan said that even his closest friends didn't know what the plate meant. But after three years, someone at the DMV finally caught on, and sent Hassan a notice that his plate was being revoked and he would have to order a new one, or his registration would be suspended. Still, Hassan was allowed to ride around with that plate for three years. Who knows how many upside-down passersby were offended?
Isn't this a violation of the First Amendment? The Tennessee Supreme Court recently ruled that license plates are not protected free speech. When this story broke in 2015, Hassan said he was strongly considering an appeal, but we've been unable to find any information on what has happened since then, and we have questions. Did he successfully appeal? If not, what did he choose for a replacement plate? Was "5318008" already taken?
Arguably the scariest bad guys in the "Star Trek" universe had to be the Borg. The sight of these mostly unstoppable zombie-like cyborgs turning anyone they came across into mindless drones is the stuff of nightmares. Maybe we'll open the comment section to find a bunch of angry fans who don't think the Borg were the scariest villian (Come at us, nerds!), but most people who have watched "Star Trek: The Next Generation" will probably agree that it was pretty terrifying when the Borg first announced, "You will be assimilated."
That line evidently made an impression on Nicholas Troller, a fan from Winnipeg, Manitoba. He ordered a vanity plate that said, "ASIMIL8." Troller got the plate and happily drove around with it for almost two years. People would even ask to take selfies with it. Then, one day, someone who found the plate offensive complained. What was the problem? The words "assimilate" and "assimilation" are often associated with the historic persecution of native peoples in Canada. So in a move that might seem Borg-like to some, Manitoba Public Insurance (MPI), the entity that issues license plates, informed Troller that his plate was being revoked and he would have to swap it for another.
Troller took MPI to court, asserting his right to keep his license plate. But the Manitoba Court of Queen's Bench ruled against him, and he had to give it up. So, in the end, resistance was futile.
If you thought the last example was geeky, buckle up. Beda Koorey, a 76-year-old from Long Island, has been getting a constant stream of tickets from all over the country even though she hasn't driven in years. She even returned her license plate in 2020. What did the plate say? It read, "NCC 1701."
That series of letters and numbers might mean nothing to you. If so, congratulations on having a social life. But many of us who remember getting shoved into school lockers will instantly recognize the serial number of the USS Enterprise. That would be THE Enterprise, not the ones commanded by Jean-Luc Picard and Jonathan Archer, but the one James T. Kirk and crew flew during all three seasons of "The Original Series" and 2½ movies. Okay, it's also the one Christopher Pike and his crew fly during the current series, "Strange New Worlds." And yes, you can add 2½ more movies if you count the Kelvin Universe (we warned you it would get geeky).
Anyway, poor Koorey, who just wanted to show her love of "Star Trek," has been inundated with a nonstop barrage of citations, thanks to online companies selling novelty plates with the Enterprise's serial number. People who bought them evidently have been speeding, running red lights, and breaking other laws all over the U.S., and Koorey has been receiving the tickets. She even got a call from a police chief in Ohio investigating a robbery. We're no lawyers, but we're pretty sure it's not legal to replace a plate from the DMV with one you bought on Amazon for $15. Fines from these tickets total tens of thousands of dollars, and Koorey has sought legal help to fix the issue.
Suzi Kiefer, originally from Detroit but now of Southern California, loves her second-generation Dodge Magnum (someone has to). She told KCAL-TV she was so looking forward to getting a Magnum before it came out that she was "lovesick" for it. She also said she's "in love with love." So it seemed perfectly appropriate to get a license plate that read, "LUVSICK."
Unfortunately, a couple of online retailers named Broken Promises and Zumiez thought that same word would make a pretty cool novelty plate. Plenty of customers agreed and, predictably, Kiefer has received more than a dozen tickets in the mail since May of this year. These tickets come from places like New Jersey, Illinois, and Texas, for infractions like speeding, toll violations, and running red lights, things she didn't do. She's had to go through the aggravation of calling state agencies for every ticket just to explain that the vehicle in the picture is not her beloved Magnum.
Broken Promises and Zumiez have both taken down the "LUVSICK" plate, without saying why. But they continue to sell other novelty license plates emblazoned with words like "HOON1GAN," "ILLST," "WEEB," "CARPRBLMS," "HELLBND," "T1RESLYR," and "RIZZ." We just thought we'd let you know in case you were thinking about ordering a "T1RESLYR" vanity plate from the DMV.
In all seriousness, though, it probably wouldn't hurt to check what's selling online before choosing a vanity plate. And you should probably avoid trying to hack the system with something clever like "NO PLATE." You wouldn't want to end up with a pile of tickets for things you didn't do.
