The more articles I write for Hagerty Media, the more I realize the sheer scale of the automobile’s impact on our society. Yes, the industry employs a vast number of people and represents immense economic value, but what excites me most are the creative and thought-provoking ideas—like the craziest car names we’ve ever seen.
For the sake of specificity, we’ll focus on proper car names. We won’t even get into the black hole that is alphanumeric names for automobiles, though letters (Mercedes S-Class) and numbers (Porsche 911) have a certain gravitational pull with both car people and the general public.
To get the ball rolling, I will turn the spotlight on my latest automotive acquisition. Because there’s nothing quite like a 1974 Mercury Montego MX Brougham with Custom Trim Option.
My first ride in a car (as a newborn) was in a Mercury Montego MX. I’ve spent decades looking for a superior “MX-Bro-Ham-Custom” to fit my needs as a middle-aged automotive connoisseur. I’ve scanned hundreds of listings, looking for telltales—a white vinyl top and color-matched wheel covers. One day, a classified listing popped up with all the right signs, and the rest is history.
My canary-yellow MX Brougham Custom is fantastic, but even I know that it’s a silly name. And, keep in mind, the Malaise Era is full of names that helped mask the pain of lower-performance machinery. Times of austerity require unique answers to challenging questions, and many of them included the word “Brougham.”
But enough about my suggestion, as it’s your time to shine:
Tell us, what’s the craziest car name you’ve ever heard of?
I always loved Gallagher with his premise of the Dodge and Ram name. He said you knew they were coming after you.
I questioned the name of the GM Impact. What next the GM Crash?
HHR Heritage High Roof. The legal department did not have the funds to do better?
Mustang 2. So they did not think it was going to work either?
Gentlemen JIm GMC? They finally found a mountain for the upscale later to name it for.
Probe, Make your own joke.
The one I always found odd was the Pontiac Fiero. It was going to be a Pegasus till the name at the last second was killed. That is why it has the flying horse emblem.
Then GM claims in a late night meeting John Schinella looked in an Italian dictionary and found the name Fiero that means proud in Italian. Well it kind of sort of means that.
Makes for a dramatic story but now here is the rest of the story. The name also was used on a Firebird Aero Concept in the late sixes by Pontiac. The Firebird Fiero as it was called. FIero was FI for Firebird and ERO for aero.
Naming cars can be time consuming and expensive with clinics and legal rights and investigations of use and ownership. This is why they keep names registered and protected.
Then the translation can be a problem. Buick found out this on the Lacrosse. But the Asian cars can get pretty odd.
The Daihatsu Naked or the Subaru F. U C . well you can finish it. Yes they knew what it ment.
I forgot about the Impact. That’s probably the best answer.
I’ll suggest the Citation (also something you don’t want to get while driving, but not as bad as an impact), and the Swinger.
Easy there, you don’t want to get CitationMan P.O.’d at ya! 😉
Swinger makes the list of names that don’t/didn’t mean what the approving execs thought at the time?
Nissan S-cargo as an homage to the Citroen (snail) is pretty out there.
Nissan Figaro…
Nobody mentioned the Edsel? At a press event I had a chance to ask Edsel Ford II where Henry and Clara got the name for his grandfather and he said Henry Ford’s boyhood best friend was named Edsel.
“Mustang Cobra” always seemed silly to me. So, like, a centaur with the head of a snake? That would make for an interesting giant hood decal.
Facebook Conversations