Are we sure we’re not being pranked here? Is this actually happening?
What possessed manufacturers to start deleting the driver from driving? Cars used to be about excitement, adrenaline, and the joy of engineering. Now tech is taking over every square centimeter and nobody’s asking: is driving still driving?
It started small. The seatbelt was simply about keeping you alive. Volvo shared that idea; fair enough. Then over the years there came a steady slide into the throughly depressing world of safety and utterly useless gadgets. Lane assist, speed controls, active this, active that ... engineers in white coats thinking more bongs and buzzers equals progress.
And now cars won’t stop bonging and nagging. You open a door: bong. Stray out of a lane: bong. Drive too close to the curb: bong. Bong, bong, frickin' bong!
The bong designers must be getting triple overtime, finding new ways to kill every last shred of fun behind the wheel. Try using concentration monitoring for more than five minutes; it’s enough to convince you that self locking doors aren’t there for your safety, they’re there to trap you until you surrender to the car’s will.
Now we have screens everywhere, but drivers just want buttons back because tapping glass doesn’t feel like driving and navigating menus makes for crap ergonomics. People like the clunk and snap of a switch; car makers finally realised that after years of digital torture.
And whilst I'm at it ... EVs? Jeeeez!
They now invent fake engine sounds and mock gear shifts trying to sell you a “driver’s car” with all the emotion of an elevator. Most make noise like a washing machine. It’s a joke.
And now where are we? Driverless cars!!! I think I'll just take a break from this and pop my head in a noose!
Are we devolving, are we really replacing ourselves with tech? If our future is filled with “self this” and “self that,” we’re dinosaurs on the brink, about to vanish beneath a pile of touchscreens and safety algorithms.
"ENOUGH" I SAY, "STOP THIS NONSENCE".
Let’s put drivers back in the driver’s seat. Cars most be more exciting, more visceral, more human. Tech should help drivers not erase them.
Give us back our cars you imbecils.